Dumb and dumber - weights, measures and language

 
  Valvegear Dr Beeching

Location: Norda Fittazroy
Nine news is still in 2012?
"SinickleBird"
I take your point, but this item was from events of the decade.

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  SinickleBird Assistant Commissioner

Location: Qantas Club at Mudgee International Airport
Sorry, Valvegear - I couldn’t resist. “News” at this time of year seems to be largely reported from templates used in previous years:

- Christmas Day’s principal headline is usually about church services, and Santa.
- New Year’s Day is usually about fireworks (in various countries) and the first babies of the year.
- Unfortunately, it is often also about fire.

You could write the scripts for the 2035 bulletin now.

But I digress.
  Aaron Minister for Railways

Location: University of Adelaide SA
The article on the Costaconcordia was off by a factor of 1000, the ship being approx 114,000GT, but it doesn’t matter what the ship is made out of; GT is a measure of VOLUME not mass, or (worse) weight.
  Valvegear Dr Beeching

Location: Norda Fittazroy
The article on the Costaconcordia was off by a factor of 1000, the ship being approx 114,000GT, but it doesn’t matter what the ship is made out of; GT is a measure of VOLUME not mass, or (worse) weight.
"Aaron"
Quite correct, but because of the magnitude of the error, I chose to be a little ironical; hence the use of "phlogiston".
  justapassenger Chief Commissioner

- New Year’s Day is usually about fireworks (in various countries) and the first babies of the year.
- Unfortunately, it is often also about fire.
SinickleBird
Adelaide got both in one.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-01-01/adelaide-riverbank-catches-alight-after-new-years-eve-fireworks/11835480
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
We are now measuring the area burnt in the current bushfires as three times the area burnt in the Black Saturday fires. This is no more informative than some '% the area of Belgium' which I have also heard quoted.

The official areas are currently quoted in huge numbers of hectares which is an area most people would not visualise/comprehend. Especially as hectares are often described in terms of a 'football field'.

To get a meaningful figure of hectares burnt, divide by 100 to get square kilometres. Still I suppose a meaningless figure 100 times a meaningful one appeals to the media.Sad
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
Another two tonight 11/1/20:

Steel output from somewhere or other is measured in 'motor cars'.
Something else (don't remember what) was ##Empire State Buildings.
  Aaron Minister for Railways

Location: University of Adelaide SA
Square kilometres are not that easy to conceptualise either. 1/3 of Belgium? Anyone can quickly consult a map and fairly easily imagine how big 1/3 of a country is - much easier than visualising one tenth of a percent of Australia.
  Graham4405 Minister for Railways

Location: Dalby Qld
Anyone can quickly consult a map and fairly easily imagine how big 1/3 of a country is - much easier than visualising one tenth of a percent of Australia.
Aaron
Really? Try explaining to anyone in Europe how big Australia is! They really have no idea...
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
Square kilometres are not that easy to conceptualise either. 1/3 of Belgium? Anyone can quickly consult a map and fairly easily imagine how big 1/3 of a country is - much easier than visualising one tenth of a percent of Australia.
Aaron
One should not need to consult an atlas, encyclopedia, Google or Wikipedia to arrive at a universally accepted unit of measurement.

I still find square kilometres far easier to conceptualise than fractions of Belgium (about which I know nothing other than that it is the much maligned capital of the EU). To me 1,000 km2 is 1 km x 1,000 km or 20 km x 50 km etc. At least measuring whatever in recognised units does convey the magnitude of the burnt area without having to covert from a percentage of Belgiums2.

Why not just settle for a percentage of Victoria burnt. Would this be too simple, straight forward and informative? Perhaps billions of squillions of cm2 would be more appealing to the rubbish media.

Alternatively we could do a combination of MCGs, double decker busses, jumbo jets, Eiffel Towers and Statues of Liberty. The water used would, of course, be measured in Sydney Harbours and Olympic Swimming Pools.

The media gets dumber by the day ............

End of rant.
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
I have encountered the following in the last few days:

  • Rainfall measured in 'months' rather than mm.
  • Something or other weighed in 'houses' rather than kg/tonnes etc.
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
Another one:

Various events (mainly weather) are not referenced to historic records any longer:

' .... Living memory .... ' is a far more accurate measure of anything than actual recorded data.
  Donald Chief Commissioner

Location: Donald. Duck country.
That is because you can't trust the historic records any more.
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
That is because you can't trust the historic records any more.
Donald
I wouldn't be trusting my 'living memory' either.Smile

Not because the media bimbos and himbos would be unable, or too lazy to try, to interpret historic records, of course.
  Valvegear Dr Beeching

Location: Norda Fittazroy
That is because you can't trust the historic records any more.
"Donald"
When you hear two eyewitness accounts of the same car crash, you tend to worry about history.
  Valvegear Dr Beeching

Location: Norda Fittazroy
Courtesy of Cricinfo:-

"Hanif Mohammad batted for 970 minutes (that's over 16 hours, or nearly 11 football matches) to save Pakistan's first Test against West Indies in Barbados."

A new unit of time; the football match (sigh).
  SinickleBird Assistant Commissioner

Location: Qantas Club at Mudgee International Airport
Football match - soccer (90 mins), rugby (80 minutes), Australian rules (100 minutes), American gridiron (about 4 hours)?

With or without injury time? Extra time because the scores were tied at the end of normal time.

Gotta love it.
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
Something or bloody other this afternoon was 'three times the size of London' (not even the area, not that we would be any the wiser).
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
Steel body panels for cars are produced in presses whose capacity is measured in bull elephants.

Obviously cow elephants are of insufficient capacity. This will be of great concern to the feminist movement.
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
I always thought that this sort of rubbish was a product of relatively recent media/journalism but here is one from 1899. Not from a newspaper but rather the British 'United Service Magazine'. I found it interesting nevertheless!

The year is 1899 and involves the Turks being thrown out of Crete courtesy of various European gunboats:

...... 'Their furniture, beds, pianos, carpets and general loot and rubbish making a pile as big as a frigate ....'.
  Aaron Minister for Railways

Location: University of Adelaide SA
I detest the use of mass units being used to measure force - imagine my disappointment to read a statement in a technical specification like this ‘10-15 grams per pound’ - wow, we have some metric mass in avoirdupois force.
  Valvegear Dr Beeching

Location: Norda Fittazroy
Stick around, Aaron, the next will probably be some genius travelling at 2,500 furlongs per fortnight, with a 15 kg backpack.
In that time, he covered 503 km at an average of 22.3 miles per day.
  Valvegear Dr Beeching

Location: Norda Fittazroy
Another journalistic gem from Nine.news:-

"U.S. authorities have announced the discovery of the longest smuggling tunnel ever found on the Southwest border, stretching more than a kilometre from an industrial site in Tijuana, Mexico, to the San Diego area.

While there were no arrests, no drugs found at the site and no confirmed exit point in the U.S., the length — more than 14 football fields — stunned authorities."
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
The Bureau of Meteorology this afternoon (31/1) is measuring forecast amounts of rain in 'heaps'.
  duttonbay Minister for Railways

The Bureau of Meteorology this afternoon (31/1) is measuring forecast amounts of rain in 'heaps'.
YM-Mundrabilla
I can understand "heaps". I can't understand 30% chance of 10-30mm. What does that mean? Is it 100% chance of 10mm, and then 30% chance of 30mm?

Or 10% chance of 0mm rain? The latter suggests to me 90% chance of rain, and only 10% chance of no rain.

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