Dumb and dumber - weights, measures and language

 
  Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

Location: Richmond Vic
House for sale on Sunshine Coast, and thank you Nine for this gem:-

"Its bedroom is as long as the Great Wall of China's highest point.
Unbelievable pad resting on our shore."


Brilliant!

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  Aaron The Ghost of George Stephenson

Location: University of Adelaide SA
I don't generally have a problem with mixed units, despite being of a well post metric vintage I have never held a problem measuring in inches, feet, yards, miles, Fahrenheit but reading the instructions (in the company of an old chemical engineering professor) of a new Cuisinart ice cream maker the other day went too far.

No joke, this is a quote from the very first page:

RECIPE TIPS

The recipes that follow offer you a variety of options for delicious frozen drinks and desserts. You may create or use recipes of your own, as long as they yield no more than 1 1/2 litres.

Note: You should start with no more than 4 1/2 cups of liquid, as it will expand in volume.

Recipe Tips
  • Gelato and Sorbet bases should be no more than 1 litre (should not go above the highest dasher on the paddle).
  • Ice Cream bases should be no more than 5 cups (should not go above the highest dasher on the paddle).

My old chem professor was reading it and saying 'Who in the hell wrote this? I thought Cuisinart should be French (he's a Francophile himself and spends half the year in France) why is this all mixed up, inconsistent metric and imperial nonsense?'
  billybaxter Chief Commissioner

Location: Bosnia Park, Fairfield
I read recently that the amount of water used to fight the fire at Windsor Castle in 1992 was equivalent to the amount of water that goes over Niagara Falls in 2 seconds.
  Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

Location: Richmond Vic
My old chem professor was reading it and saying 'Who in the hell wrote this? I thought Cuisinart should be French (he's a Francophile himself and spends half the year in France) why is this all mixed up, inconsistent metric and imperial nonsense?'
Aaron
Just pour him a nice Montrachet and tell him they were metric cups measurement.

I'm one who had to go from Imperial to Metric, and I also have no problem with either. My mother baked cakes and scones using measurement in cups, tablespoons etc and never failed. She just could not teach me because of the lack of decent measurements of ingredients - my schooling and subsequent days in Chem Eng couldn't cope!

As an aside, I was motor sporting in rally cars from the late 60's through to the late 80's, and we had to change from miles to kilometres in mid 1974. The km was immediately named the SAM (short-ar$ed mile).
  SinickleBird Assistant Commissioner

Location: Qantas Club at Mudgee International Airport
Funny that this topic has moved into the kitchen.

I am regularly annoyed by recipes that measure butter by the cup. I can understand ounces, grams, even “sticks” (which is how butter can be bought in USA).

But who the hell puts butter into a cup? Then takes it out again to put it in a mixing bowl?
  petan Chief Commissioner

Location: Waiting to see a zebra using a zebra crossing!
I am regularly annoyed by recipes that measure butter by the cup. I can understand ounces, grams, even “sticks” (which is how butter can be bought in USA). But who the hell puts butter into a cup? Then takes it out again to put it in a mixing bowl?
SinickleBird
Butter cup / mass data https://www.newideafood.com.au/butter-in-grams

You asked who puts butter into a cup? Then takes it out again to put it in a mixing bowl? Well, I usually do that with flour as my old cooking books state flour in cups.

Back to the butter; Often it does not go directly from the measuring device to the mixing bowl as sometimes you need to put it into a Pyrex dish or similar to soften it in the microwave for some recipes or chop the butter into small pieces if creaming butter and sugar for other recipes.
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
My old chem professor was reading it and saying 'Who in the hell wrote this? I thought Cuisinart should be French (he's a Francophile himself and spends half the year in France) why is this all mixed up, inconsistent metric and imperial nonsense?'
Just pour him a nice Montrachet and tell him they were metric cups measurement.

I'm one who had to go from Imperial to Metric, and I also have no problem with either. My mother baked cakes and scones using measurement in cups, tablespoons etc and never failed. She just could not teach me because of the lack of decent measurements of ingredients - my schooling and subsequent days in Chem Eng couldn't cope!

As an aside, I was motor sporting in rally cars from the late 60's through to the late 80's, and we had to change from miles to kilometres in mid 1974. The km was immediately named the SAM (short-ar$ed mile).
Valvegear
Having lived through the decimal conversion of umpteen aspects of the rail industry I am comfortable with both systems except for pressures where I still largely work in psi.
Like Valvegear, however, I much prefer to measure things in proper units rather than in Eiffel Towers and Rhinoceroses.
  Aaron The Ghost of George Stephenson

Location: University of Adelaide SA
Funny that this topic has moved into the kitchen.

I am regularly annoyed by recipes that measure butter by the cup. I can understand ounces, grams, even “sticks” (which is how butter can be bought in USA).

But who the hell puts butter into a cup? Then takes it out again to put it in a mixing bowl?
SinickleBird
When baking I don't look a recipe using volume measurements, I only use recipes that weigh ingredients, consistency is key, and I don't have time to much around with imprecise volumes. It's the old chemist/physicist in me.
  Madjikthise Deputy Commissioner

Liquids by volume, solids by weight. All metric. Knuckle warts to anyone who says otherwise.
  Aaron The Ghost of George Stephenson

Location: University of Adelaide SA
Liquids by volume, solids by weight. All metric. Knuckle warts to anyone who says otherwise.
Madjikthise
No, ridiculous levels of precision aside, mass does not vary with temperature, indeed, for most applications measuring energy by mass is not only not sensible, it's not possible.

Volume on the other hand does vary quite a lot with temperature, substance to substance. I have two volumetric pieces of glassware in my house, and even then I don't use them. It's rare that I could be bothered to stabilise temperature, account for parallax and all of the stuff I would need to do to get even close to my scales that I already have out for solids anyway.

Whether I am malting/mashing for beer, making wine, distilling spirits, making cheeses or fermenting my various drinks and sauces, I prefer liquids expressed by mass too, it's not only more accurate, it's more repeatable, and repeatability is king.
  justapassenger Minister for Railways

No, ridiculous levels of precision aside, mass does not vary with temperature …
Aaron
In the context of cooking, the main way mass varies with temperature is when you boil it off.

The mass is not gone, but it might as well be when it is being inhaled by your nearest downwind neighbours instead of being contained within cooking apparatus of choice.
  Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

Location: Richmond Vic
Chemically-minded measurements are vastly over rated in cooking. I have previously said somewhere that my mother could not teach me to make scones because she couldn't give me accurate quantities of ingredients.  She had an intuitive feel for it, never seemed to measure anything, and never failed. It wasn't only scones, either.
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
Chemically-minded measurements are vastly over rated in cooking. I have previously said somewhere that my mother could not teach me to make scones because she couldn't give me accurate quantities of ingredients.  She had an intuitive feel for it, never seemed to measure anything, and never failed. It wasn't only scones, either.
Valvegear
Mother and Mother-in-Law the same.
Just grab the ingredients and chuck them in. Never failed.
The YMs makes our family Christmas Pudding to her Grandmother's recipe but measures everything meticulously. The result is always just as good.
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
Did you know that a Lear Jet has the power of 12 Bugatti something or other models and that it can climb 10 storeys a second (or was it a minute?). Some other component was weighed in rhinoceroses (like trams) and there was at least one other equally ridiculous unit of measurement quoted for something but I was fast losing interest by then.
  michaelgm Chief Commissioner

Unfortunately, cannot post a screen shot. An early morning chuckle.

The flat earth society has members all around the globe.
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
Unfortunately, cannot post a screen shot. An early morning chuckle.

The flat earth society has members all around the globe.
michaelgm
True but many are on the edge.Smile
  Graham4405 The Ghost of George Stephenson

Location: Dalby Qld
I'll put this here because it almost belongs...

Sign in a shoe shop:

All Men's shoes

Nothing over $99*


* Exclusions apply


Really?
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
I'll put this here because it almost belongs...

Sign in a shoe shop:

All Men's shoes

Nothing over $99*


* Exclusions apply


Really?
Graham4405
This sort of thing was rife in the various Goods and Livestock Rates Books and Passenger Fares Books in the Australian Rail Industry.

Categoric statements would be made that 'goods would be charged $xx per tonne or passengers $xx per kilometre' often with the suffix EOHP or NOS depending upon the rail system.

I am tempted to leave these acronyms unexplained as part of my campaign against the clever dick unexplained acronym users here on RP to work out .............................. Twisted Evil

But I won't.

EOHP = except as otherwise herein provided whilst NOS = not otherwise specified.
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
Department of Transport announcement on Melbourne radio today 29/9:

'... bus replacements are operating on the Williamstown line between Newport and Williamstown ...'

Given that trains cannot run on this section due to level crossing removal works at North Williamstown one wonders what the 'bus replacements' actually are?

Rickshaws, perhaps?

Obviously what they mean are 'replacement buses' ..........

Another example is the Cancer Council who bang on about 'bowel cancer (?) being the worst cancer killer' when what they really mean is 'bowel cancer is the worst killer cancer'.
  RTT_Rules Oliver Bullied, CME

Location: Dubai UAE
There was one in FB recently from USA.

News reporter said a hole in a highway and referenced a number (7?) of washing machines wide.

USA still trying to avoid the metric system.
  Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

Location: Richmond Vic
This one just leapt out at me off Nine News:

"Khloe Kardashian's trick to changing nappies with long nails."

We had nappies with safety pins when my kids were babies; never thought of using nails.
  303gunner Train Controller

This sort of thing was rife in the various Goods and Livestock Rates Books and Passenger Fares Books in the Australian Rail Industry.

Categoric statements would be made that 'goods would be charged $xx per tonne or passengers $xx per kilometre' often with the suffix EOHP or NOS depending upon the rail system.

I am tempted to leave these acronyms unexplained as part of my campaign against the clever dick unexplained acronym users here on RP to work out .............................. Twisted Evil

But I won't.

EOHP = except as otherwise herein provided whilst NOS = not otherwise specified.
YM-Mundrabilla
The CDUA sounds like a Union office that they should really protest about!
  Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

Location: Richmond Vic
Thank you NSW Health:-

"STAY-AT-HOME ORDER INTRODUCED FOR CASINO

A stay-at-home order for the suburb of Casino will be introduced from midnight tonight until 11 October due to an increased COVID-19 public health risk. pic.twitter.com/YuNdEUDa6O
— NSW Health (@NSWHealth) October 1, 2021"  (my emphasis)


The last I heard about Casino, it was 715 km from Sydney. If Casino is a suburb, Sydney has sprawled amazingly quickly.
  303gunner Train Controller

Thank you NSW Health:-

"STAY-AT-HOME ORDER INTRODUCED FOR CASINO

A stay-at-home order for the suburb of Casino will be introduced from midnight tonight until 11 October due to an increased COVID-19 public health risk. pic.twitter.com/YuNdEUDa6O
— NSW Health (@NSWHealth) October 1, 2021"  (my emphasis)


The last I heard about Casino, it was 715 km from Sydney. If Casino is a suburb, Sydney has sprawled amazingly quickly.
Valvegear
You should hear some of the pronunciations of rural locations from Dr Kerry Chant in the daily pressers. It would seem that she has never been outside of Sydney's sprawl. I doubt they would know if any place is a major town, a suburb or just a crossroads.
  YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
The amount of water in some food concoction or other on TV today was measured in 'ice rinks' and the weight of another commodity was measured in Eiffel Towers.!

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