I'm not sure how to put this....
That's not you on the front cover of GIRLFRIEND magazine, is it? I assume that's one of those DOLLY-type mags for thirteen year old girls. Coz if it's not you, it's somebody very much like you. I'd buy a copy to be sure, but I ain't really going to do that, if I ever want to show my face in that shop again.
Tell me it wasn't you.