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Dumb and dumber - weights, measures and language

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      YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

    Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
    It's all Yarra Trams fault.

    Some time ago Yarra Trams started weighing trams in Rhinoceroses but there are a number of other dumb units of measurement in frequent media use, each no doubt intended to be either meaningless or to hide something. These include the measurement of:

    • Areas in MCGs
    • Volumes in Olympic swimming pools
    • Dimensions in Jumbo Jets or semi trailers

    A new unit of measurement emerged on Wednesday 5/4/17 in relation to Free Range Eggs where the density of the poor chooks involved was quoted as:

    • Four chooks per double bed mattress.

    In measuring the area available to each so called free range bird in birds per double mattress, by my calculation, the figure that they are trying to avoid quoting equates to 0.64 m2 per chook (or 800 mm x 800 mm or ~ 31 inches x 31 inches). And that was supposed to be the best case scenario........

    No doubt some kind person will correct my calculations if I have boobed!

    Yes there is bugger all on TV..............Rolling Eyes
    Posted: 07 Apr 2017 22:10

    Last edited by YM-Mundrabilla on 07 Apr 2017 22:11; edited 1 time in total

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      mikesyd Chief Commissioner

    Location: Lurking
    The English are worse.

    Road distances and Speeds are in Miles.

    But Fuel is dispensed in Litres.
    Posted: 07 Apr 2017 23:20
      Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

    Location: Norda Fittazroy
    You forgot one most important unit of volume, namely the Sydarb.

    One Sydarb = the volume of water in Sydney Harbour.

    For example, Eildon Reservoir, when full = 6 Sydarbs.
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 10:29

    Last edited by Valvegear on 08 Apr 2017 10:33; edited 2 times in total
      apw5910 Deputy Commissioner

    Location: Location: Location.
    You forgot one most important unit of volume, namely the Sydarb.

    One Sydarb = the volume of water in Sydney Harbour.

    For example, Eildon Reservoir, when full = 6 Sydarbs.
    Valvegear
    But how much does that weigh in elephants?
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 10:44
      Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

    Location: Norda Fittazroy
    But how much does that weigh in elephants?
    "apw5910"
    it weighs 69,546,000 elephants and one bandicoot.
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 12:45
      Boris_the_Foul Station Master

    Location: Bowenfelski, City of Greater Moscow
    It is Sydharb with an H in it.


    Personally I stick to cubits, spans, and number of live chickens I can fit inside a DC-3 under maximum take-off weight.
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 12:45
      apw5910 Deputy Commissioner

    Location: Location: Location.
    But how much does that weigh in elephants?
    it weighs 69,546,000 elephants and one bandicoot.
    Valvegear
    Imperial or Metric elephants? I won't ask about the bandicoot, the less said, the better.
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 13:07
      Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

    Location: Norda Fittazroy
    It is Sydharb with an H in it.
    "Boris_the_Foul"
    Definitely not. Australians pronouncing an "H"?  'aven't you ever 'eard of 'ousing?
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 13:32
      Boris_the_Foul Station Master

    Location: Bowenfelski, City of Greater Moscow
    http://www.oxfordreference.com/view/10.1093/acref/9780195563160.001.0001/acref-9780195563160-e-3024

    We speak proper English up here, unlike MALborne, Adoowlaide, or Brisbane - ay?
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 13:51
      Bogong Chief Commissioner

    Location: Essendon Aerodrome circa 1980
    http://www.oxfordreference.com/view/10.1093/acref/9780195563160.001.0001/acref-9780195563160-e-3024

    We speak proper English up here, unlike MALborne, Adoowlaide, or Brisbane - ay?
    Boris_the_Foul
    I always thought it was Smellbourne, Radelaide and Brisvegas?
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 13:58
      duttonbay Minister for Railways

    You forgot one most important unit of volume, namely the Sydarb.

    One Sydarb = the volume of water in Sydney Harbour.

    For example, Eildon Reservoir, when full = 6 Sydarbs.
    Valvegear
    Is that high tide or low tide?
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 14:13
      Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

    Location: Norda Fittazroy
    Is that high tide or low tide?
    "duttonbay"
    Er; um (thinks); Eildon doesn't have tides.
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 16:19
      Bogong Chief Commissioner

    Location: Essendon Aerodrome circa 1980
    Is that high tide or low tide?
    Er; um (thinks); Eildon doesn't have tides.
    Valvegear
    Actually it sort of does. High tide is late spring when (in most years) the lake is chokkers. Low tide is in late autumn when lots of water has been released for irrigation over the previous dryer months.
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 16:28
      duttonbay Minister for Railways

    Is that high tide or low tide?
    Er; um (thinks); Eildon doesn't have tides.
    Valvegear
    Not Eildon, the unit of measure. The syd(h)arb.
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 17:14
      YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

    Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
    You Sassenachs elsewhere may well weigh things in elephants but here in Mexico we weigh things in rhinoceroses.

    I believe that this is to maintain the Victorian rage at the encroachment on our territory of that disgusting NSW gauge which, coincidentally, is used in just about the rest of the world.

    BG for EVER (sorry typo BG for NEVER).
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 17:39
      Boris_the_Foul Station Master

    Location: Bowenfelski, City of Greater Moscow
    Is that high tide or low tide?
    Er; um (thinks); Eildon doesn't have tides.
    Valvegear
    There are actually very slight tides in inland waterways,  Might only be a millimetre or two, but they exist,  There are also land tides, which is what keeps the earth's mantle molten,

    As an interesting factoid. the moon DOES have an atmosphere.  However, it's so thin it only has a total weight of ten tons.
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 17:40

    Last edited by Boris_the_Foul on 08 Apr 2017 17:42; edited 1 time in total
      Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

    Location: Norda Fittazroy
    Not Eildon, the unit of measure. The syd(h)arb.
    "duttonbay"
    Crikey, duttonbay; I didn't think you'd fall for that one.
    And no; I don't know whether it's Sydarb High Tide or Sydarb Low Tide or somewhere in between.
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 17:42
      YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

    Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
    Is that high tide or low tide?
    Er; um (thinks); Eildon doesn't have tides.
    There are actually very slight tides in inland waterways,  Might only be a millimetre or two, but they exist,  There are also land tides, which is what keeps the earth's mantle molten,

    As an interesting factoid. the moon DOES have an atmosphere.  However, it's so thin it only has a total weight of ten tons.
    Boris_the_Foul
    'has a total weight of ten tons'.

    How do I convert tons to rhinoceroses, please?
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 18:15
      Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

    Location: Norda Fittazroy
    How do I convert tons to rhinoceroses, please?
    YM-Mundrabilla
    Don't bother. Work on volume, using the formulae:-
    12 drops = 1 smidgin
    4 smidgins = 1 tad
    2 tads = half a spoonful
    2 spoonfuls = 1 dollop
    6 dollops = 1 bloody mess
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 18:48

    Last edited by Valvegear on 08 Apr 2017 18:48; edited 1 time in total
      YM-Mundrabilla Minister for Railways

    Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
    How do I convert tons to rhinoceroses, please?
    Don't bother. Work on volume, using the formulae:-
    12 drops = 1 smidgin
    4 smidgins = 1 tad
    2 tads = half a spoonful
    2 spoonfuls = 1 dollop
    6 dollops = 1 bloody mess
    Valvegear
    Thanks Valvegear.
    I knew that you would know.
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 19:12

    Last edited by YM-Mundrabilla on 08 Apr 2017 19:14; edited 1 time in total
      RTT_Rules Oliver Bullied, CME

    Location: Dubai UAE
    The English are worse.

    Road distances and Speeds are in Miles.

    But Fuel is dispensed in Litres.
    mikesyd
    Don't know why that one didn't get through when they metrificated.

    Canada also has relics such as vegies in shop are sold by the pound.

    In Australia we have our relics

    Outboard boat engines are sold in units of HP, but car engines are in kW
    Type pressure is mostly done in PSI
    Farmers still sell stuff by the "bussel" for which find someone who actually knows what that means without google
    Most "Averages" properties are still sold by the acre. We don't have "Hectarages"
    Barrel of Oil is actually not a standard 44 galloon, sorry 205L  drum
    Most engines are sold in kW or HP, but jet engines in pounds of thrust
    Steam engines power output is uses different units to that used for diesel and electric traction
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 20:13

    Last edited by RTT_Rules on 08 Apr 2017 20:48; edited 1 time in total
      Graham4405 The Ghost of George Stephenson

    Location: Dalby Qld
    The other strange thing I noticed in the UK is that whilst we might buy a 2 litre bottle of milk, their milk comes in 2.272 litre bottles (4 pints)! Stupid poms... Smile
    Posted: 08 Apr 2017 23:27
      woodford Chief Commissioner

    The English are worse.

    Road distances and Speeds are in Miles.

    But Fuel is dispensed in Litres.
    Don't know why that one didn't get through when they metrificated.

    Canada also has relics such as vegies in shop are sold by the pound.

    In Australia we have our relics

    Outboard boat engines are sold in units of HP, but car engines are in kW
    Type pressure is mostly done in PSI
    Farmers still sell stuff by the "bussel" for which find someone who actually knows what that means without google
    Most "Averages" properties are still sold by the acre. We don't have "Hectarages"
    Barrel of Oil is actually not a standard 44 galloon, sorry 205L  drum
    Most engines are sold in kW or HP, but jet engines in pounds of thrust
    Steam engines power output is uses different units to that used for diesel and electric traction
    RTT_Rules

    A "bushel" is a measure of volume equal to 8 gallons.

    Jet engines produce thrust and as power depends on velocity and the engines actual velocity inoperation is an unknown its power is therefore unknown, so its thrust is specified directly.

    When steam engines first came out, there was a GREAT deal of concern on there effect they would have on the working population so there power was understated to reduce this concern and there power was measured in NHP (New Horse power). As far as I have been able to find out a NHP is aprox 7bhp, different manufacturers using somewhat different standards.

    woodford
    Posted: 09 Apr 2017 11:19
      RTT_Rules Oliver Bullied, CME

    Location: Dubai UAE
    The other strange thing I noticed in the UK is that whilst we might buy a 2 litre bottle of milk, their milk comes in 2.272 litre bottles (4 pints)! Stupid poms... Smile
    Graham4405
    Interesting, I looked it up. Its half a UK gallon.

    Which now asks the question, what happened when they sailed from UK to US? Did they loose their gallon buckets over the side and guessed when they arrived?

    I'm sure there is also a interesting story behind beer glass sizes.

    And for the non space buffs, Human's measure distance in space using light years (makes sense, for now) and distance between Sun and the Earth, called the AU (Astronomical Unit to remove any potential planetarian bias/racism by not referencing EARTH). I'm sure one day this will look as stupid as 4' 8.5" for track gauge.


    Regards
    Shane
    Posted: 09 Apr 2017 13:08
      HardWorkingMan Chief Commissioner

    Location: Echuca
    Don't forget car rims are still mainly imperial (inches) but the tyre sizes are a combination of metric (width), imperial (rim size) and ratio (tyre wall height)

    Tractor, truck and bus sizes are still imperial for tyre and rim.
    Posted: 09 Apr 2017 13:24

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